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with Cynthia Martin
A space for self-reflection and renewal
Where healing is the art of becoming whole.
Dissociation Therapy in San Francisco (Psychodynamic & Relational, IFS-Informed)
Everyone occasionally disconnects from parts of their internal experience or external surroundings, particularly those causing stress. For example, a novice at public speaking, overwhelmed by the audience's gaze, might shut their eyes to momentarily erase the crowd and focus inward. Similarly, someone entangled in anxious thinking could find solace in a brisk walk, allowing the rhythm of their steps and the ambient sounds of the outside world to draw them away from their inner turmoil. Normative dissociation includes those everyday, non-disruptive experiences of disconnecting that most people undergo, such as getting lost in a book, daydreaming during a tedious task, or slipping into “autopilot” when performing a familiar routine. While often a pleasant escape, dissociation can subtly begin to impact our lives if overused as a way to cope with everyday challenges, gradually distancing us from full participation in the present moment.
Over time, frequent detachment might lead to forgetfulness—losing track of conversations or commitments—and can dilute emotional connections, causing us to miss important cues and leaving others feeling unseen or misunderstood. Dissociation not only distances us from our surroundings but can also dampen our internal emotional landscape. Imagine suddenly going numb during a heated argument, unable to fully feel or express what’s happening inside. Or consider struggling to find the right words in a tense situation, as the mind shifts away from verbal processing to manage overwhelming emotions or perceived threats. In these moments, dissociation is a temporary psychological retreat. While dissociation is often a temporary and harmless coping mechanism, it can become more pronounced in certain situations, leading to disruptions that go beyond simple forgetfulness or emotional disconnection.
When dissociation arises in response to trauma, it can become more than a coping habit—it can evolve into a long-term survival strategy that reshapes our relationship with ourselves and the world. One such form is derealization, a state where the world around you feels distant, unreal, or dreamlike. For someone who has survived a horrific car accident, this might feel like stepping into a version of reality that no longer feels solid or familiar. The sounds of traffic might seem muffled, the colors of the world dulled, and time may feel as though it’s moving in slow motion or not at all. This disconnection allows the mind to distance itself from the immediate horror and shock of the event. However, over time, derealization can leave the person feeling isolated from others and alienated from the life they once knew, as if they are moving through a shadow of the world rather than truly living in it.
Lost and Found: The Journey Back to the Self
I specialize in dissociation, including depersonalization, derealization, parts states, and complex trauma. My approach is phase-oriented: first stabilization and safety, then carefully titrated trauma processing, and finally integration so life feels cohesive again. I blend psychodynamic therapy with parts work (IFS-informed) and somatic grounding. We work at the pace of your nervous system, building skills to reduce overwhelm and shutdown while strengthening connection to the present. I’m queer-affirming, neurodiversity-affirming, and collaborative. Sessions are gentle, structured, and practical: we grow capacity and translate “symptoms” into signals. If you’ve been told you’re “too much” or “too complicated,” you’re not. You've adapted brilliantly. Let’s help it feel safe enough to soften. I offer virtual-only therapy for clients across California.
For a child growing up in a chaotic or unsafe environment, this might feel like being present in mind but absent from the body, as though they’ve become a ghost inhabiting their own life. This is known as depersonalization. The body absorbs stress and pain while the mind numbs, burying overwhelming sensations deep within. While this disconnection allows the child to survive what feels unbearable, it also leaves them feeling distant from their own physical presence and sense of self, as if the very core of who they are has been placed out of reach. When a child is repeatedly exposed to abuse, neglect, or a chronic unsafe environment, their mind may begin to dissociate not just from the painful emotions, but from the very parts of themselves that hold those emotions. As a result, parts that were developing into an integrated cohesive sense of self begin to split off, becoming very distinct—the mind creates these divisions as a way to compartmentalize traumatic memories or emotions, allowing the individual to survive what they cannot process at the time. Each part, also called an alter, may take on different characteristics, such as different names, ages, personalities, or even accents, and they can carry specific memories or traits that the person in their primary state might not experience or recall. While this compartmentalization initially protects the person, over time it fragments their sense of identity, leading to confusion, memory gaps, and difficulties functioning as a cohesive whole. In Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), these divisions, once protective, become barriers to healing. In this case, we want to rebuild connection among parts or alters, so the system can function cohesively (instead of like an orchestra with each member playing their own song).
So as you can see, dissociation is a spectrum. Many of us have experienced “highway hypnosis”—driving a familiar route and suddenly realizing we’ve traveled miles while deep in thought, with no clear memory of the drive. While startling, this common dissociative moment reflects how the mind can split attention. But if one part of consciousness took over completely and diverged from our intended route—driving to a movie theater instead of to work, for instance—problems arise. Whether you experience mild dissociation or a split sense of self, therapy supports you in connecting with a stable, compassionate core presence—your Self—that serves as a steady vantage point for observing and understanding all of your internal experiences. From this calm center, you can gently explore the fuller landscape of your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations, tracing them to the experiences of different parts of this Self. Whether your goal is to feel more present in everyday life, to ease the lingering effects of past trauma, or to bring together aspects of yourself that feel disconnected, this Self-awareness becomes your anchor. Over time, this grounded perspective helps you to move through the world feeling more whole, resilient, and at ease.
Dissociation FAQ
What is dissociation, in plain language?
Dissociation is when attention, emotion, memory, or sensation disconnects so you can get through threat or overload. It can feel like numbness, fogginess, “I was there but not there,” depersonalization/derealization (DP/DR), parts states, or DID. We treat it as an adaptive nervous-system strategy and help your system find safer options.
Is dissociation a spectrum?
Yes. It ranges from everyday spacing out to stronger protective responses like time loss, DP/DR, parts states, or DID. There’s nothing “wrong” with having a spectrum response; therapy aims to increase choice and cohesion.
Do we all have “parts”?
We do. Parts are ordinary organizing states of mind and body that carry roles, needs, and memories. My style is psychodynamic and relational: we look at how inner roles formed in relationships and how they replay now. Think group dynamics on the inside—we build bridges, not hard lines, so your inner world harmonizes.
How do I know if it’s dissociation and not just distraction?
Distraction is chosen. Dissociation is automatic. Clues can include going blank or numb, feeling floaty or far away, body sensations dropping out, time loss, or the world going flat and unreal. We map your early warning signs and practice gentle ways to return without force.
Is depersonalization/derealization (DP/DR) common?
Short episodes of feeling unreal or far away can happen to many people, especially under stress or exhaustion. The long-lasting disorder is much less common. Either way, the sensations are real and workable. We focus on stabilization, reconnection to body and environment, and pacing within your window of tolerance.
Do you work with DID and complex parts states?
Yes. Care is phase-oriented for DID and complex dissociation. I don’t force fusion or pursue “integration” as a default goal; we honor your system’s preferences and define success together.
What does “phase-oriented” treatment look like in practice?
Phase one builds capacity: grounding, sleep and routine, parts mapping, boundary language, and micro-practices for returning to the present. Phase two processes difficult material slowly with clear stop points. Phase three centers system collaboration: clearer internal communication, more flexible role-sharing, co-consciousness where helpful, and practical agreements that make daily life easier. Your goals set the course; multiplicity is respected.
How often are sessions and how long does treatment take?
Weekly sessions are usually best to start. Timing depends on history, stability, and support. The goal is steady, sustainable change rather than rushing and crashing; we revisit goals and pacing as capacity grows.
Getting Started and Logistics
Do you offer in-person sessions?
No. I provide virtual therapy only for clients located anywhere in California.
Is your approach affirming for LGBTQ+ and neurodivergent clients?
Yes. Care is queer-affirming and neurodiversity-affirming. Language, pacing, and tools are adapted to your nervous system, identity, and access needs so therapy fits you, not the other way around.
What if I shut down or get overwhelmed in session?
We pause and re-stabilize. Consent and safety come first.